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26 June 2014 @ 04:45 pm
that burst of warmth  
Is it possible to feel so utterly contented just by sitting next to someone that you trust wholeheartedly?

"We're five feet apart and you might not even be consciously aware that I'm here, or that the reason I'm secretly smiling is because you make my insides go crazy while at the same time, you give me such a strong sense of security. Perhaps it's too early to say, but somewhere along the past one year of knowing you and being your friend, I've learnt to believe in your care and protection. It's not something that you show overtly or make known out loud, but rather something that I've come to sense and realise. I want to continue denying it, but it gets so much harder as the days pass by. I want to stop believing in it because I don't want the disappointment to set in when the sun comes up, but for once, everything feels so real and absolutely wonderful that I really can't bring myself to turn away from this. I know that I'll have to nurse the cuts and bruises when the time comes to say goodbye, but for now, I'll enjoy this little piece of happiness that I've undeservingly been given."

My feelings may not yet have been reciprocated and I may not have experienced love yet, but right now, I wouldn't trade what I have for anything else in the world. Cause this strong sense of security, trust and protection is nothing like I've ever felt before and not something that I think I'll ever experience again in my life. It just feels... right somehow; like I'll never be able to find it in anyone else in this world.

Which brings me back to that one point I keep having to remind myself of; he and my brother both are setting me up for real disappointment when I actually date someone. Really doubt that whoever it is that I end up with would be able to match up to the two of them, especially him.  
 
 
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