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31 May 2014 @ 02:59 pm
full stop.  
"At the crossroads, I have only two routes to choose from. Before, I couldn't face the path I know that I should be walking down because I was addicted to you and all the feelings you evoked in me. You draw me in so unknowingly; like a moth to the flame of a candle on the coldest of nights. And I can only fight helplessly against that pull."

Despite what I thought initially, you're probably not it for me. If I'm the only one that felt the deep connection and dam of chemistry pushing against the concrete barrier between us, then perhaps everything that I've been feeling is just a figment of my imagination.

I know that everyone's been telling me that so much can happen within a few years and that maybe in a few years, things might change. But I'm not going to let myself fall for you ever again. There's no cheesy/cliche reason for that- the conclusion I came up with last night was that I've gone and developed feelings for you, became your good friend and realized that we're not compatible and that we probably work better as good friends. So yes, that's what you'll be to me henceforth; just a great friend that I'll always cherish and hold dear.

It'll do wonders for my focus and concentration too; I can finally stop trying to find ways to get you to notice me and to be around you. /shakes head/ This is another reason I can't bring myself to continue liking you- it's too draining mentally and emotionally. I've done this once and made the mistake of committing it a second time for God knows what reason. No one is worth this amount of time and energy seriously; having to be careful of everything I say and do just because I want you to have a good impression of me and ecetera.

Screw this. I'm going to stop all this nonsense and just focus on myself for awhile. No more boys and boy troubles and heartache and tears. Seriously, it's only been six months and I've already gone through an emotional upheaval. I have four and a half more years to go in Med School too LOL .___. 
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Until You, Dave Barnes